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Okay here we go. This most likely won’t make sense to anyone but me.  I woke up this morning from a deep sleep in a boom – all of a sudden – sit straight up – flash of knowledge. In my sleep I was floating, he was holding me gently through the currents of emotion. Rock steady safety during whitewater emotion. I see that as his purpose. Calm assertive. Not pain centered but emotion centered. Wednesday full-on sex fest – so many orgasms…emotional dam breaks – crying (not my style). Thursday courage to write, think and analyze things I have never said out loud before (post called – Why I don’t know how to date). I had the free space to do it because of the emotional release. Writing it was cathartic and healing to some degree and also provided the mental framework for me to understand some of my own actions. But the epiphany I had, was the purpose (at least for me) of him is to have that rock steady, solid, hold me safely guidance through emotional white water. I don’t always have to tough out and gut out everything on my own. In my dream, he was there – just calm and assertive, holding my head above water – keeping me safe in the rush.